February 9, 2011

Snot Monster

This has been a pretty terrible upper respiratory infection. I've been sick since December 26th. Two ear infections, a throat infection, Acute Bronchitis with a little touch of pneumonia and now, a devilish sinus infection. This has been so shitty that I have completely lost my sense of smell. I can't even smell bleach straight from a bottle. Two rounds of antibiotics and steroids have done...not too much. Oh well. I gotta go blow some more massive snot out of my sinuses. Yay!

Finished Size: 2.5" x 1.5"

May 30, 2010

Gingivitis Monster

This guy looks nasty and mean. Remember to brush your teeth and floss, kids.


Finished Size: about 2.5" x 2"

May 14, 2010

Pustule Monster

This guy looks drunk. Or, maybe relieved. Yes, relieved to finally rid himself of that awful pressure. So, maybe he was an angry Pustule Monster before, but now...it's like he just took a massive dump.

So, the next time you pop a nice juicy pustule on your skin, be pleased that you are not only ridding yourself of unwanted pus, but you are also freeing a Pustule Monster from unnecessary grief. Good job, you. Good job.

Finished Size: about 2" x 2"

May 13, 2010

Cavity Monster

You know they are in there. They are just living bacteria anyway. Tiny organisms wreaking havok on your enamel. So, what if this one is big? And...has a voice?

Do you know why the dentist's drill is so loud? No...not because it is "drilling," you idiot.

It's loud so you can't hear the screams of the little monsters that are getting ripped apart in your hollow teeth.

Can you imagine how much people would freak out and run? Well, dentists are smarter than that. They subdue you with the noise...while they murder.

Over and over again. Those brilliant killers.

Finished Size: about 2" x 2"

May 12, 2010

Hangnail Monster

Now you know why those little bastards hurt so much. It's because they are pure evil...rooted in your nail beds. Plus, it looks like they have crew cuts. And, really...what's more hard core than a crew cut? Nothing is.

Finished Size: about 1.5" x 2"

May 11, 2010

Ear Wax Monster

This little guy looks grumpy. Just imagine how well you'd hear his screams when you attack him with a Q-Tip. How unsettling that would be.

Finished Size: about 1.5" x 2"

May 8, 2010

Toejam Monster

Just another entry into the body monster series. Maybe one day I'll do some full illustrations of these. That might be pretty funny.

Finished Size: about 2" x 2.5"

May 7, 2010

Eye Booger Monster

Patrizzia is incredibly grossed out by eye-snot. It sickens her to a point that doesn't even seem possible....and I...think that is hilarious. So, imagining a screaming eye-booger just makes it even funnier. If our parasites were all big enough to have visible faces and interact with us, then our world would just be so much more interesting...and frightening.

Finished Size: about 2" x 1.5"

May 5, 2010

Booger Monster

I'm liking this whole little-monsters-on-your-body theme. And, this little guy would make blowing and/or picking your nose a true adventure.

Finished Size: about 1.5" x 1.5"

May 3, 2010

Wart Monster

Seriously. That would be F-d up. He looks much more evil than his Zit Monster pal. Imagine this thing screaming at you in another old world language while you work up the courage to freeze it and cut it off. Did it just curse you? Did it just dig its roots deeper into your flesh? Why is it staring at you with its glaring eyes? Now...imagine that it's a genital wart? Didn't see that one coming, now did you?

Finished Size: about 2" x 2"

May 2, 2010

Zit Monster

I was lucky enough to not have a zit problem while growing up. But, I imagine that if zits were like this one, those Proactive commercials would be quite different. I imagine hearing many incoherent screams from peoples' faces as they rub Proactive over these feisty zits. And, imagine getting bitten by your pimples? Awesome. Too bad our pimples are so very bland.

Finished Size: about 2" x 2"